Pramod Thomas » love

Why I always been an under performer?

Pramod Thomas — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:23:47 +0000

It has been quite a long journey as a professional. When I joined my first job I was a bit nervous. I always doubted about my success. I was an average person everywhere. No women accepted my “love request”. When I reached 19 I became bald. Frustration was another reason for my fear. I always believed in hard work. Through hard work anyone can achieve anything. My life was full of misery from the beginning. I tried hard but didn’t succeed. I always thought about success but frequently failed. Then I made a decision that I will not allow failure to enter into my heart. I will strive continuously for success. Now I am working as senior reporter in a business magazine publishing in Malayalam. I don’t have much knowledge ut I am trying to earn it. My search for love continues…. My ambition is to become the most famous business journalist of kerala, I hope that god will help me to achieve this dream.

Lust and other feelings

Pramod Thomas — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:52:25 +0000

I walk through the naked street

I had dreams

Dreams about you, about us

But you didn’t care

They called me coward

They hit me on the face

But I didn’t react

Only because of you

You were my passion

My life, my future

I always lived for you

Now I am in this cruel city

Because of you

I smoke too much-because of you

My nights are sleepless because of you

Why you don’t love me

Why you avoid me

Yesterday I cut my veins

I saw the blood

The red naked truth

I love you and will always love you

And will wait until you recognize my love

Forgive me, my friend

Pramod Thomas — Sat, 15 May 2010 08:44:03 +0000

Now also I can’t believe this. How it happened? But I know it is stupidity to ask for reasons in life. Sometimes life is reasonless! The unexpected way of life sometimes unbearable. When I thought about life, I imagined one scene. It is not real (I now pray should never be real!).
One of my friends came across a fire accident. He has got burns all over his body. Then came the most painful part of my imagination. He requested me to kill him and gave his gun to me …..
If you are in such a situation what will you do, will you kill your friend or not? I know this is a hard question to answer. So I stop asking questions, instead I write…….forgive me…….. my friend…

Light, darkness then the long silence
You describes life like this.
We were together
Beneath a banyan tree
I saw the red bus,
Long away, trying to climb the bridge
It was full of passengers
We looked each other and smiled!

A dream followed by another
Like ants, they are moving
No it was not like that
Dreams are like individual films
Only gets life in the dark
They weep in the daylight
I always liked theatres
But you hated it
You always liked fire
I hated it

This is the most unfortunate minute
The world is deserted
Only you and me
We both are facing death
The ugliest face of it
You revolver sleeps in my hands
It hears the whisper of my fingers
I can’t come out from the shock of your words ‘just kill me’
How can I kill you
You are my best friend
But I want to help you
Fire had eaten all your skin
Not only your skin,
my heart is also burning

I am naked now
No cloud to cover me
I see flowers without fragrance
Sky without birds
Newspaper without news
Give me the courage to kill myself
Before my heart explodes within my body.

Jessy, I love you

Pramod Thomas — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 08:06:57 +0000

This is not the end,
This can’t be the end

You are covered with the hibiscus smile
I know, by now you have so many questions
But I have only one answer,
I love you and I always loved you

This wind seems like a stranger,
Glaring at me!
Your whispering lips and dry hair
Those are my friends, forever

I know you have moved a long way
Memories are fading
But my Alzheimer’s brain looks for you
I am dark, you are the light
I am hopeless, you are the hope

Dead leaves as blind eyes-
Gathered around me in the afternoon
As a crying new river
You are going away from me
This grief is unbearable
Day light as golden daggers,
Penetrates through my lungs
You are the only flower in my garden
Now my garden ruined in storm
All plants beheaded
The crying night
And whispering crickets all pray for me

My heart is like a desert never discovered by anyone
You were the rain in it
I am the time,
You are the history
I have been defeated in the war
But you are my only success
Under the violet trees and green sky
My love falls unkissed.

Mortuary of love

Jessy, I love you
I dipped my words in my blood
And my breath in my heart
I am empty now
Like a floating sparrow in the sky
I am wandering
Jessy, look at me
The dark agents of death are coming
Just look at me
This room is full of butterflies
Like defeated earth
I stand in front of you
My heart is melting
You are the only remedy for it
I stand in the mortuary of love
Only to get you back
Jessy, I love you and I always loved you

(dedicated to Gautham Menon)

Falling Leaf

Pramod Thomas — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:58:24 +0000

My love is so silent
like a falling leaf
But you always loved noise

My love is like a soldiers’ dead body
But you always hated war
Your lips the most thin object in the world
never uttered my name
Yet you were so special to me

Your stomach, the virgin sky
I lost my kite in it
your lean hands
the most unnatural thing in the world
I always dreamed about it

When the rain started fucking the earth
I closed my eyes
( But you kept your eyes open)

Your hairs, the smallest trees on earth
I wander among them like a blind wind

Your eyes, the tiniest rivers
I lost my boat in it

I loved you
But you always hated me.